Why sweet corn doesn’t deserve its bad name [Unscripted] | Entertainment


I will not allow people to disrespect sweet corn.

These waxy, triangular (and sometimes pumpkin-shaped) treats are a top Halloween treat. You know it’s true.

It’s hard to think of a candy that visually represents Halloween more than a corn candy. This is what the peppermint stick is for Christmas, or what the chocolate egg is for Easter.

People buy tons of candy corn every year. Illinois-based confectioner Brach’s, which produces about 7 billion pieces of sweet corn per year, sold more than $ 73 million in 2018, according to a Fox Business report.

And yet, it seems everyone hates sweet corn – sending one of the best Halloween candies straight from the candy bag to the nearest trash can.

Comedian Lewis Black memorably called sweet corn “the worst thing about Halloween.”

“All the sweet corn that was ever made was made in 1914. They never had to do it again,” he said on his 2006 album “The Carnegie Hall Performance”. “You never eat enough. “

Black went on to say that sweet corn “tastes like something that has been made from oil.”

“You can take all the bags of candy corn, and in fact, if you melt them, you can run a car,” he said.

Sweetcorn was ranked as the worst Halloween candy in a CandyStore.com poll of over 17,000 people this year. Gordon Ramsay ranked sweet corn as one of the five worst Halloween treats during an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel in 2016, describing the candy as “ear wax formed in the shape of a rotten tooth” .

Ramsay’s comments made audiences laugh at the pagans who hate candy corn.

Not me.

Sweet corn doesn’t deserve your hate.

Year after year, we few corn candy lovers are subjected to the same tired and unoriginal complaints about those sweet little grains of goodness.

Expressing a love for sweet corn in public is virtually unheard of.

In one of the few somewhat positive depictions of sweet corn in popular culture, the Heimlich caterpillar pleads with a group of flies to let him eat sweet corn in the 1998 Pixar film “A Bug’s Life.” (Of course, this had to be arguably the most forgettable Pixar movie.) And even here, the undeclared joke is that the plump, ravenous Hemlich will eat anything – even sweet corn.

What exactly is the problem that people have with sweet corn? That it’s all sugar? Of course, it’s all sugar. It’s a candy.

People don’t like its waxy texture? Many candies have a waxy texture. The pins have a waxy texture.

“Oh,” these people will say, “it’s different with sweet corn. “

Note that what these people are saying is that they have a specific and deliberate hatred for sweet corn that has no logical basis. It’s an unhealthy form of sugary discrimination, and I won’t tolerate it.

There are even people who hate how sweet corn will be flooding store shelves in September. These are people who clearly hate Halloween, and probably hate the concept of having fun as well.

Some people just say they would rather binge on other candy on Halloween.

People. You can eat chocolate any time of the year. You can eat lollipops, jaws, or any other candy anytime of the year.

Truth be told, you can stuff your face with as much candy as you want at any time of the year, although as a nation we – with a somewhat surprising amount of restraint – have decided to limit our Annual one-night gluttonous sugar feast in October.

But sweet corn is almost exclusively a Halloween treat.

In fact, 70% of candy corn sales occur in the eight weeks leading up to Halloween, according to Observer. The remaining 30% of sales are spread over the remaining 44 weeks of the year.

So what you are really saying when you say you hate sweet corn is you hate the whole fall season. And you hate Halloween. Is this the kind of person you want to be? Someone who hates fall and Halloween?

Shame on you.

The point is, sweet corn has never hurt you. In fact, he was always there for you when you needed him.

Who was there for you in mid-November when you hit the bottom of your candy bag and needed a little sugar?

Corn candies.

Who is there for you every October to start popping up on store shelves to remind you that it’s almost Halloween time?

Corn candies.

Who reminds you of all the wonderful things about fall and the big pumpkin and Jamie Lee Curtis screaming in a cupboard as Michael Myers comes up to her with a kitchen knife?

You know who. It’s sweet corn.

The point is, sweet corn deserves your respect.

If you don’t like it, don’t throw it in the trash. Give it to a candy corn lover in your life. We exist and we cannot have enough.

Now don’t even tell me how much I love these Valentine’s Day candy hearts.

Erik Yabor is a breaking reporter for LNP | Lancaster online. “Unscripted” is a weekly entertainment column produced by a rotating team of writers.

About Marco C. Nichols

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