We’re as beautiful as our pastries and our clotted cream, we’re smart innovators who’ve come up with some of the best inventions ever, we live in the most beautiful part of the country…even the world. So why wouldn’t you want to marry someone from Cornwall?
We also have the best beer, the best views, we are a proud and loyal people, we have our own language and we drive better than anyone in the country.
Who wouldn’t want to marry a maid or a guy from Kernow? Leave for life, we are. Here are 38 reasons why marrying a Cornish person will be the best decision you can make.
Read more: 50 people who put Cornwall on the map around the world
1. You will stop being called emmet
Marry in Cornish blood and you will forever be forgotten that you are a visitor, a newcomer and an emmet.
2. You will have pastries made for you
Want a steady supply of pastries? Marry a Cornish man or woman. We are all crimping experts.
3. We are the best lovers in the world
Our expert fingers are made for the delicate crimping of pasta and we have stamina after all those hours our ancestors spent going down the mines.
4. We are loyal
The heart of a true Cornish person still belongs to the Duchy, even if he’s gone for a better job and more money, so if we’re loyal to our ‘country’, we’ll be loyal to you too.
5. You’ll laugh like hell
Cornish is naturally funny, just look at Jethro, Johnny Cowling, Kernow King and the new breed of comedians like Tamsyn Kelly and Harriet Dyer.
6. You will learn to say “I love you” in a new language.
It’s ‘My a’th kar’ in Kernewek.
7. You will live in the best part of the world
This is Cornwall, no explanation needed.
8. You’ll first learn it’s jam
Or you’ll be divorced before you can spread the cream.
9. You will get a new style
A happy married life for a Cornish person means shorts all year round, even in arctic conditions, while wolf fleeces are the Cornish nation’s idea of couture Alexander McQueen.
10. Go on a date
Speaking of wolf fleeces, you’ll quickly learn that being married to a Kernowyon means a date will be a trip to Par and Pool markets.
11. Romantic meals
You’ll be truly spoiled – from Michelin-starred experiences at Paul Ainsworth and Nathan Outlaw to the best fried foods at places like Smokey Joe’s. And pastries. Lots of pies.
12. You will become a rugby fan
It is the national sport of Cornish men and women.
13. You can enjoy couple walks with views like this…
14. And this…
15. You will develop a natural aversion to Devon
Even if you’re from Devon and married in Cornwall (we really love them).
16. Don’t expect a lot of talk
We Cornish are loud, quiet types, but we like to gossip.
17. Be careful if your partner says this…
“I’m teasing as an adder” means an argument could be brewing.
18. A pretty Cornish house
If you’ve just married someone from Cornwall, you can afford housing…in 2030. Maybe.
19. Love is…
Whisper sweet nothings while drinking a pint of Rattler.
20. You will have the most welcoming in-laws in the world.
The older Cornish people are particularly welcoming – they’ll cook you delicious roast dinners, make sure your car is running smoothly and they’ll make cuddly grandparents. Watch out for grumps though.
21. Cornish tell it like it is
We speak directly in these parts here.
22. We celebrate everyone
23. You will be able to give your children special names
What about Ruan, Mawgan, Zennor, Perran and Ventongimps?
24. Then watch them grow and make perfect sand castles
25. The Bloody Accent!
That’s the most beautiful accent in the world, innum?
26. You’ll learn a whole catalog of new songs
There’s nothing quite like a rousing rendition of Trelawny to pull together, especially if beer is involved.
27. We do Christmas differently down here
28. And May Day
29. You can be in the water for a minute
30. And the top of the world next
31. We Are Hardy Creatures
32 We care about the environment
Look at all the good done by Surfers Against Sewage and all the other eco-warriors we have in Cornwall.
33. We have a rich heritage
34. We make proposals better than anyone
35. We are innovators
Have you seen The Man Engine?
36. We do romance like no one else
The Cornish folktale of Tristan and Yseult is the most romantic story in the world
37. You will learn to drive properly
No one can back up a 3ft wide country road like a Cornish driver.
38. We will go to the end of the world for you
Well, Land’s End anyway.